The Male Mind

Life is really simple, but men insist on making it complicated. – Confucius

I’m sure he meant “men” in an all-encompassing way (as in mankind), but that’s not what I’m here to do today. Today, I have a question.

Guy texts girl. Girl texts guy.

Guy texts girl. Girl texts guy…girl texts guy. Guy texts back.

Girl texts guy…texts guy…texts guy.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Guy texts back.

Now, some of you out there have more patience than I do. I’m a runner so it’s not often I get to this point. But some of you are very open communicators. You are the ones who ask: “Are you interested in continuing this?” “Are you interested in pursuing anything with me?”

Guy: “Yes.”

 

So, girl continues to text guy. Guy continues to take 12 years to respond. Finally, she gives up and stops texting. Either 1) She never hears from him again or 2) She hears from him when he remembers she exists. A month later.

First of all, I can hear the men riding in on their chariots: “Women do this too!”

Yes, but we’re talking about guys right now.

I know I’m not the best person to even understand relationship advice because I need to take Dramamine just to say the word “commitment,” but if I find I’m doing this to a guy, I let him know I’m not interested in a romantic pursuit when I realize it.

Whether or not they believe me is a different story. One guy told me, eons ago when I was snatched and used to be able to pull dudes like…(okay, I have nothing), he thought by my telling him I wasn’t interested, it meant for him to try harder.

But if I’m interested interested in a guy? I tell him I am…and I find that taking a month to respond to a guy I’m interested in just doesn’t really happen.

Apparently, that’s not a good tactic. Men need to chase. And don’t get me wrong, I get that, but maybe I just like you. Some men out there have these beautiful smiles and nice bodies and they seduce you with their intellect…I’m not supposed to tell them I want to have their babies?

What else do I do with my time, then?