Aluminum Free Deodorant

You guys know that I often every once-in-a-while post something others might construe as TMI. But, it’s my life. And as long as I’m not posting a picture of, “What is this on my right a$$ cheek,” I think I’m okay.

Today’s topic, aluminum-free deodorant.

I was strolling through one of my favourite places, Target, and came upon Dove aluminum-free deodorant. I’ve been wanting to go aluminum-free for a while now, and I love Dove, so this seemed like a really good segue into that world.

Now, I know why there is aluminum in deodorant. At least, in the broadest sense. It blocks sweat glands (hence, antiperspirant) and even reduces bacteria on the surface of the skin to control odor.

Odor. Let’s talk about odor.

My day went as follows:

1. I took my night shower.
2. I finished up my daily business tasks, did some writing, did some reading.
3. I went to bed.
4. I woke up the next morning and did my morning rising ritual–yawn, contemplate life, stretch, and then get out of…

WTF?

I tried again. Yawn. Contemplate life. Stretch…

Then, the Pittsburgh Steelers ran into my bedroom.

And I don’t mean the Steelers before a game. I mean the Steelers after a game…where they lost…and Roethlisberger was sacked five times…and they played the Broncos…and Von Miller had the best game of his career.

I smelled like the outside of Burger King right after you let your window down at the drive-thru.

If I’m going to wake up to liver and onions every morning, I would prefer it have body hair and a full beard (I had to add the full beard part or else we’d still be talking about me). I’d prefer it had testosterone to explain that smell. And a hard body. And a penis. (Ya’ll saw that coming. Don’t lie).

Now, I’m going to still continue using an aluminum-free deodorant because there might be some health benefits to it, inconclusive research or not, but I’ll be testing a few different brands. I’ve also added several exfoliating and detoxifying scrubs to my Amazon cart because bay-bay…this is some grown man sh*t.

I will never give another side hug.

I will never give another high-five.

Forget yoga.

Forget ever stretching again.

Here’s the Target link if y’all want to stink like me. We can start a club: The Limburger Ladies.