Is…this…anxiety?

On today’s episode of Alex’s TMI Chronicles… *insert Law and Order sound*

Me: (staring at guy)

Him: “Hi.”

Me: “Oh! Hi. Sorry about that. You’re very attractive.”

Him: “Really?”

Me: “Yes, you’re lovely.” (Starts to walk away)

Him: “So…”

Me: (panics)

Him: “What’s your name?”

Me: (sweat) “Alex.”

Him: “You’re cute.”

Me: (hyperventilates) “Oh?”

Him: “Maybe we can get a cup of coff—“

Me: (Beats Usain Bolt’s record running away)

wHy aM i LiKe tHiS???

Image result for anxiety meme

I can flirt as long as it doesn’t go past flirting. Today, a guy approached me while I was out and about (probably because my hair’s currently not a Bird’s Nest of Doom & I have 2 brows again so…slayage), and instant nausea. I’m still sick. I may end up with ginger tea and Infinity War on Netflix tonight.

Seriously, Waterlily?

(Who got the Golden Girls reference?)

I want men to leave me alone, but then I want one for myself to hug, lick, bite, kiss, ignore, feed copious amounts of macaroni and cheese, and ask for a puppy for Christmas.

I am not this ambivalent with anything else in my life. And I think, even if I do allow myself to even speak to a guy, I have learned the code of what makes guys think girls are crazy…and then I become every single descriptor.

Image result for checklist image

My father was right when he said nobody would ever want me, ever again, after I left my first boyfriend.

(He had a whole baby on the way but…yeah. ‘My’ fault.)

Thing is, at this point, I can’t tell if I’m batting zero or one-thousand.

Published by K. Alex Walker

I am a romance-loving writing junkie whose primary aspiration is to craft stories full-time on my laptop while people-watching at Starbucks, Barnes and Nobles, Books-A-Million, and the beach.

3 thoughts on “Is…this…anxiety?

  1. Omg. First you had me laughing at your intro encounter ’cause I could picture it in my mind. I applaude your honesty at telling him what you thought. Then you had me miffed at your father’s comment. What in the world…?!?!😔

    Liked by 2 people

  2. You got this!!! You just have to take baby steps and come out of your shell slowly. Maybe start doing practice exercises in front of a mirror to help carry on a conversation with guys. The perfect guy is out there for you, just keep going strong. Not impressed your father said that you. You did the right thing by leaving that guy especially if he cheated on you and had a baby on the way. It showed strength and courage to stick up for yourself like that. You know you have the strength within you after walking away from that. So now you have to keep building on that strength.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I, of course, do not know you personally but I can’t tell you how much I want to hug you right now after reading your father’s comment. There is someone out there right now who wants you and is waiting for you; he just hasn’t found you yet.

    Liked by 1 person

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